Greetings!!!
I must say Beth's post has struck a cord with me as well...honesty is refreshing and quite potent to get your mind and heart churning!
So I have titled this poopy mouth...some may ask why...Rochelle may just say it is as I expected...its Brianne! ;) he he he. Okay but back to seriousness...
S0 when I think about my heart and is it changing, or am I just going through the motions--I am pierced by the reality of my biggest problem...my mouth, tongue, well really everything in the lower quadrant of my face...or really we could just stay it is my whole head since it has the brain and the eyes in it as well...but anyway off track--you get the point.
I often find myself wanting all the things we are talking about and longing for them and praying that will be me...but then I find myself the next minute with my mouth open and poop is streaming out of it. I mean sometimes in mid poop stream while my mouth is still going my brain disengages and says: Really? Is this me? This is me isn't it...I mean wow I am disappointed...didn't I just say the other night or 20 mintues ago or whenever to God or the person I was with--that I dont' want to be this person...I want to only say things that are true, kind and uplifting...I want to be Christ-like...pretty sure poop stream from mouth doesn't qualify as Christ-like!!
And perhaps I should step back and clarify my definition of Poop. Although I am sure you have all already have come to your own assumptions. Therefore, when I say poop I mean gossiping, or maybe not saying the nicest thing about something or someone and of course in some way justifying it (rolling my eyes at myself), or maybe just allowing non-niceness to go on around me and I stay mute, and by my silence agree...
So anyway this is my really big problem...and if I were to dig even deeper I would say I have Poop of the Brain too....My thoughts are putrid at times...and while some of you have posted that you felt inferior at the study due to the way you grew up or the way your life was previously...don't be! I grew up in a Christian environment, I appeared to be all those "good" things...but often my brain was full of poop and I was sinning hardcore in my thoughts and sometimes in my words (but I tried to keep that in because gosh, got to keep up that Christian image!) So please PLEASE don't feel inferior or less or any of those lies that Satan is whispering to you...because everyone is TOTALLY in the same boat regardless of whether it is seen or it is unseen! (Okay side note again...maybe I shouldn't talk for everyone else...but I AM definitely in the boat with the oars and rowing hard, perhaps even hoisting the sail on the boat --in otherwords I am clearly familiar with the boat!)
So there you have it...that is the deep thoughts that assaulted me after reading the latest posts and I knew I needed to write this and share...and I guess this is my prayer request...that my thoughts and my tongue reflects what I want to be--who God has made me to be--and isn't just full of Poop! (yes I know this word is slightly icky and I have said it a gazillion times, but being a mom it apparently has become in the top 10 words of my vocabulary now and for some reason has become practical vs icky for me...sad...)
Let's think happy now!...Here is my yummy promise of the day...one of my ALL TIME favorite verses that lifts my soul from its miry (and poopy) depths!
COME TO ME, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest-Matthew 11:28
Thank goodness for that! Because I need rest from the battle that rages in me...whether it never hits my tongue...my mind is constantly battling...
Have a great day ladies, and remember you are not alone--regardless of your past or present!
Mental Hugs!
Bri
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5 comments:
No time for a lengthy comment today (you're welcome), but I was just wondering, after the Spice Girls and the McDonald's ad slogan and this Chris Sligh dude and poopy mouth and all sorts of common things have been themes of our posts....Have you guys ever wondered if there are any strange google searches out there that are sending people to our blog? It would be fun to test it out... in our spare time.
First of all, I just have to tell you all who keep apologizing for lengthy posts...to stop apologizing! As pathetic as it may seem, many days, it's my only "connection" to the outside world with Jayson gone all the time and me at home with the 4blessings :-) Had to get that off my chest...
On a postitive side note, I still think that as we continue to keep this in front of us like I commented on last night in a post (kind of late in responding so you may have missed it) that we will be more apt to make good decisions.
For example: my six year old played with a razor today - not sure why he decided to try that now but nonetheless, he came down bleeding and screaming. Patience was actually modeled.
The second (and much bigger) test came when our friends 14 year old put our riding lawn mower 10 feet in our ditch out back while trying to mow our yard for us. I can honestly say that I didn't even get worked up at all about it. My head went straight to "is he o:k" and then it went to trying to repair the poor kid's ego. (he was on his cell phone crying to his mom....ouch). I just kept telling him..."it's just a mower, it's not a big deal..don't let it ruin your day" etc.
So, did I make conscious effort at those reactions? Not really. I just think it is that my mind is constantly thinking about our material and I've been praying about it too. To Beth's point about wanting change...I think God knows that we may want change but are somewhat scared by what that means. Don't you think He will meet us part way there and help us take smaller steps toward the final goal? That goal being to be like Christ?
Maybe I need to start asking the question of myself daily...Am I more like Him today than I was yesterday?
And I googled "spice girls poopy mouth" and didn't find our blog. Ha!
I, unlike Nancy, have not been the model of calm, cool and collected behavior the last couple days. You may suspect from my prayer request that I'm struggling with my kids and my parenting. And last night I got about 5 hours of sleep total since Tori decided to do everything about her schedule differently yesterday, so I haven't really been overflowing with patience and creative parenting techniques. Nothing major has happened other than I have nagged them and lectured them in a completely brain-numbing manner far too many times in the last 48 hours. I'm so tired of hearing myself and wondering, like Bri said, how I can truly want to be transformed, but in the next breath I'm saying things in such an unkind way to the kids that I love more than anything and, more importantly, whose view of themselves, the world, and God I am shaping. Ugh. As if being physically tired isn't enough, I'm just emotionally and mentally worn out. I'd love it if you'd keep praying for me and my kids, especially because Steve will be gone most of the weekend.
But thanks so much for the reminder, Brianne:
COME TO ME, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest-Matthew 11:28
I definitely could use some rest.
And thanks for the pre-bedtime giggle, Nancy:
And I googled "spice girls poopy mouth" and didn't find our blog. Ha!
Now that's a thought to end my day on! :)
I continually thank God for all of you.
Nancy, your ability to make us all feel like we are "ok" no matter how uncomfortable we each feel putting ourselves out there, just plain ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF. Thank you!
Tiff, I think I'm in the same boat as you. Frustrated because I don't feel like I am modeling what I am saying I want. I am praying that we all can rest, per the verse from Bri, and that we can remember Nancy's comments about how God knows our hearts, knows our desire, knows our fears, and He isn't looking for us to be perfect before He will change us. We wouldn't need to be changed then, would we?! :)~ I know I need to keep telling myself that.
So, chin up, Sweet Little Noggies, we have a God who is mighty to save and eager to be near to us. Makes me wish He was physically present in body form so I could just run to Him and hug him. And then probably fall face down on my knees in His holy presence ... but you know what I mean. :)
Bri,
I have a very poopy mouth and brain as well...thanks for your honesty...I can sometimes be working on my bible study and at the VERY SAME TIME getting angry and holding grudges in my heart against my husband...(due to his lack of help around the house or some other dumb thing)...ughh!!!
I need more of Him and less of Me that's FOR SURE!! (My paraphrase of John 3:30)
Sheila
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