Discussion:
- Why is anxiety so common in our culture--in our daily activities, in advertising, in news reports? How does the Bible's teaching about anxiety contradict what modern culture teaches about it?
- Which other sins often crop up if we tolerate anxiety, frustration, and/or discontentment in our lives?
- Do you think God sometimes allows us to face difficult, unchanging circumstances for reasons we may never know? Feel free to share a situation in which you learned a key lesson because you accepted that situation as part of God's plan for your life.
- Discuss this quote from the author: "Suppose someone you love were to say to you, 'I don't trust you. I don't believe you love me and will care for me.' What an affront that would be to you! Yet that is what we are saying to God by our anxiety."
- Throughout Respectable Sins, Jerry encourages us to remember God's attributes. If we believe and remember that God is infinitely wise, loving, and knows what is best for us, then how will we respond to circumstances that tempt us to be anxious, frustrated, and discontented? On the other hand, if we think God is simply toying with us and wanting us to suffer, how will we respond to trials?
Personal Reflection:
- What types of circumstances tempt you to become anxious, frustrated and/or discontent (a, f, and/or d)?
- When has God used your a, f, and/or d to teach you something, help you grow in a particular area, or get your attention and make you more attentive?
- What particular insights, verses or quotations particular connected with you this week?
Actions:
- Carefully note when circumstances tempt you to be a, f, or d, and when temptation occurs, immediately ask God to help you trust and obey Him.
- Write a prayer thanking God for being in control of your circumstances (even when you don't feel that certainty). Invite Him to help you respond in ways that serve and glorify Him.
3 comments:
Though Jerry certainly had some good things to say about trusting God's character and believing God is always at work in our circumstances, I have to say that I was disappointed with his perspective in these chapters. It just didn't hit the places where I struggle with these sins--and believe me, I do struggle with them.
Certainly I can see how these sins relate to great losses and disappointments in life and how they make it difficult to understand and trust the character of God. But for me personally, frustration, anxiety and discontentment are very daily sins. I become discontent when I'm not connecting with other women how I want, and it leads to the sins of jealousy, judgment, self-hatred and others. I become discontent in those times when I feel like my husband will never understand what I need, and that leads to the sins of hopelessness, anger...and others. I feel anxiety when Mason has a cough or runny nose, and I worry that he might not be able to breathe while he sleeps, or when my money for the month is running out and I feel I haven't spent wisely or just can't get things I feel we need. I feel frustrated when others disagree with me or when I feel like people in my life aren't doing the right thing. I'm sure you get my point.
So I guess I feel like maybe he wasn't hard enough on me. I haven't experienced some of the major losses that some, even in our group, are living with, yet I still live without trusting in God's best for me. I just didn't feel like he was very practical in his words for me, the "average Joann," trying to just live everyday life in faith.
I also felt in some ways that he simplified hard circumstances. I don't think he was meaning to, but I found myself at times questioning whether I agreed with what he was saying about God's character and the cause of our circumstances. And I'm still not sure what I think. Although I believe God is sovereign, I believe that some things just happen because it's a fallen world, not because God caused it to happen to teach me a lesson. While I do believe God can use every situation to make us more like Himself, I don't think he's up there thinking of ways to make my life hard to teach me. And yet I do believe that is sometimes the purpose of hard situations. I think this is why it is hard for me to fight anxiety and fear--because I know God's character is trustworthy, but I also know that crappy things happen to people even when they love God and are doing their best to trust Him with their lives. I find it hard to truly feel at peace. But I know that ultimately it does come down to trusting God's character and believing that even if the worst thing happens, He is enough in that situation. And maybe that's all that Jerry was saying, too. I'm not sure.
I've written a short book, so I must go. While I am thankful for the pieces of chapters 8 and 9 that gave me food for thought, I was disappointed that they weren't more practical for me. There's my book review for this week!
I read Beth's post before I read chapters 8 & 9, so I went into it with somewhat low expectations. Kind of like when someone tells you before you see a movie if they thought it was good or bad, so you go into it with a preconceived idea about whether you'll like it or not. So having low expectations was good for me, because I thought the chapters were okay.
However, I do, or at least I could if there were any point, wrestle with the whole question of whether or not God "causes" or "permits" all things that happen in our lives, because that could lead to some questions in my belief about God's nature; OR whether He, in His completely just and unchanging character, allows the world to operate according to the laws of nature, meaning that many hard and just plain wrong things will come into our lives because the world is fallen and broken. That gives me a slightly different view of my God. But what is best for me to stick with is just the basic belief that "life is hard, and God is good" or I can get my thoughts into a tailspin.
That being said, I underlined several things that seem to apply to my life personally on the topics of a, d, & f. Here are a few of them:
Oh, this was a big one for me...
"...my anxiety is triggered not so much by a distrust in God as by an unwillingness to submit to and cheerfully accept His agenda for me." I tend to think that if I am worrying or anxious, it must be because I don't trust God, and that is troublesome to me because I know that I have faith in who He is. So this cleared that up for me and gave me a new core issue to work on....submission!
This next one also clarifies some of the source of my struggle...
"...oftentimes the situation at hand looms larger in our minds than the promises of God." Again, this was almost encouraging to me, because it just points out the thought habits that need adjusting by keeping those truths about Him at the forefront of my mind. It doesn't mean I don't trust Him, it just means I get decieved and distorted in my thoughts sometimes. And that seems easier to work on that trying to figure out how to have more faith!
And here's one more...
"...it is neither in resignation nor submission but only in acceptance that we find peace." So true. I often become resigned to the difficult things in my life, but I don't accept and embrace them, so I remain discontent, stressed, and bitter. And resignation can lead to big time self-pity. Not pretty.
So there are my highlights or focal points from Ch. 8-9. Anyone else have anything to share?
As I write this, know that I am frustrated with my SLOW computer...ughh! Perfect example of what I'm NOT supposed to be feeling!! On pg 69 Jerry says that frustration usually involves being upset or angry at whatever is blocking our plans. He also wrote that we "fail to recognize the invisible hand of God behind whatever is triggering my frustration." So is God behind this everyday situation that is causing my frustration? I mean is He really causing my computer to be slow? I don't know the theological answer to that question (Tiff you mentioned this too) BUT I did like the verse that he gave...Psalm 139:16..."All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." I agree with him that this is an encouraging and comforting verse when looking at the topics of anxiety and frustration.
Beth...I do agree that there could have been a lot more to these chapters on anxiety and frustration. This is just my personal opinion but I think Jerry should have had a woman write it...we CLEARLY have more expertise in the areas of anxiety and frustration in my experience!! I very much appreciated your comment that these are daily sins for you because I think you speak for all of us.
Another thing I underlined was on pg 73..."We are so used to responding to difficult circumstances with anxiety, frustration, or discontentment that we consider them normal reactions to the varying vicissitudes of life." SO true for me! I do consider this to be a normal way of life and wonder if any of you have any hints besides what Jerry gives us as to how to stop this cycle...I guess even just recognizing it is a good first step. And of course realizing like Tiff said that "Life is hard and God is good". And Jerry said on pg. 76 that we need a "firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness of God in all the circumstances of our lives." If any of you have any other helpful hints though I'd love to hear them!!
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