Poopy Mouth...and Brain?!?

Greetings!!!
I must say Beth's post has struck a cord with me as well...honesty is refreshing and quite potent to get your mind and heart churning!

So I have titled this poopy mouth...some may ask why...Rochelle may just say it is as I expected...its Brianne! ;) he he he. Okay but back to seriousness...

S0 when I think about my heart and is it changing, or am I just going through the motions--I am pierced by the reality of my biggest problem...my mouth, tongue, well really everything in the lower quadrant of my face...or really we could just stay it is my whole head since it has the brain and the eyes in it as well...but anyway off track--you get the point.

I often find myself wanting all the things we are talking about and longing for them and praying that will be me...but then I find myself the next minute with my mouth open and poop is streaming out of it. I mean sometimes in mid poop stream while my mouth is still going my brain disengages and says: Really? Is this me? This is me isn't it...I mean wow I am disappointed...didn't I just say the other night or 20 mintues ago or whenever to God or the person I was with--that I dont' want to be this person...I want to only say things that are true, kind and uplifting...I want to be Christ-like...pretty sure poop stream from mouth doesn't qualify as Christ-like!!
And perhaps I should step back and clarify my definition of Poop. Although I am sure you have all already have come to your own assumptions. Therefore, when I say poop I mean gossiping, or maybe not saying the nicest thing about something or someone and of course in some way justifying it (rolling my eyes at myself), or maybe just allowing non-niceness to go on around me and I stay mute, and by my silence agree...

So anyway this is my really big problem...and if I were to dig even deeper I would say I have Poop of the Brain too....My thoughts are putrid at times...and while some of you have posted that you felt inferior at the study due to the way you grew up or the way your life was previously...don't be! I grew up in a Christian environment, I appeared to be all those "good" things...but often my brain was full of poop and I was sinning hardcore in my thoughts and sometimes in my words (but I tried to keep that in because gosh, got to keep up that Christian image!) So please PLEASE don't feel inferior or less or any of those lies that Satan is whispering to you...because everyone is TOTALLY in the same boat regardless of whether it is seen or it is unseen! (Okay side note again...maybe I shouldn't talk for everyone else...but I AM definitely in the boat with the oars and rowing hard, perhaps even hoisting the sail on the boat --in otherwords I am clearly familiar with the boat!)
So there you have it...that is the deep thoughts that assaulted me after reading the latest posts and I knew I needed to write this and share...and I guess this is my prayer request...that my thoughts and my tongue reflects what I want to be--who God has made me to be--and isn't just full of Poop! (yes I know this word is slightly icky and I have said it a gazillion times, but being a mom it apparently has become in the top 10 words of my vocabulary now and for some reason has become practical vs icky for me...sad...)

Let's think happy now!...Here is my yummy promise of the day...one of my ALL TIME favorite verses that lifts my soul from its miry (and poopy) depths!
COME TO ME, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest-Matthew 11:28

Thank goodness for that! Because I need rest from the battle that rages in me...whether it never hits my tongue...my mind is constantly battling...

Have a great day ladies, and remember you are not alone--regardless of your past or present!
Mental Hugs!
Bri

Empty Me, a.k.a. Make Room

After reading Tiff's comment on Beth's post that caused us all to start reminiscing about the Spice Girls (ahem), Tiff mentioned how she often prays that the words she sings would be true of her, or would become her desire ... it made me think of a song I've been hearing more and more on the radio. It is exactly what we've been talking about. Just thought I'd share, cause that's what friends (and blogs) are for. :)

Empty Me
By Chris Sligh

I've had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood.
And I've tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
I've seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, compared to you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you so why surrender all?
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
Oh, filled with you.
Empty me.

thanks Beth

ok...finally getting to the Nog Blog---thanks for you help Nancy and Tiff! (I am not computer-smooth!) Beth--thanks for you honesty about feeling inferior (I think that was the word you used). I felt inferior last night 2nd to not growing up in a Christian environment and making some pretty poor decisions in my past.....when does that stop trailing a person? Anyway-- true honesty is a breath of fresh air and I'm thankful this group has that down pat! Gotta run--Blessings to you all,
Amy
p.s...I'm REALLY trying to limit my internet time 2nd to my love/temptation to look at real estate up for sale.....so please bear with me if I'm a little "behind".

Do I Really Want It?

Okay, so I'm just going to confess that I'm struggling with some feelings of inferiority after meeting last night and reading blog posts. It's really just more frustration with myself because I feel like I'm being a hearer of the Word but not a doer. I am loving this study, I can't honestly say I've ever been in a Bible study group that I've loved more, and there are just tons of nuggets of wisdom and life in this whole NOG experience for me. Yet, in some way I feel like I'm missing it. I read Tiff's questions from her post earlier today and relate to all of them, yet I don't feel like I'm truly processing and being changed in it. I love our discussions and honesty, but admittedly I'm comparing myself to all of you and thinking, "Their hearts are purer. Their hearts really want this." Sometimes I think I'm just good at talking about it. I hate to even type that.

I guess that's my prayer request. I want to really want it; I want to truly allow the Lord to tweak me. I don't know if it's fear or apathy or lack of faith or what it is, but I don't want to be a hearer and not a doer. I truly want to constantly be transformed into more of the likeness of Jesus, yet I don't know if I'm really chasing after it as my Ultimate Thing. Well, actually I know a lot of the time I'm not.

A couple additional requests...

1. Brent & I have to do a 5-minute Scripture/marriage meditation at my cousin's wedding in a couple weeks. No idea what we're saying. Please pray that the Lord will give us a clear word...preferably the same one to both of us! And that I might actually hear it!
2. I just continue to ask for prayer against the god of approval in my life and that my focus would be less on myself, so that I can love others well rather than constantly wonder if they love me. (But after all, in the words of a wise woman, "I am most focused on myself because I am myself!")

I truly value your hearts, minds and friendship so much. Thanks for your honesty and your prayer!

Mental Hugs,
Beth

Prayer Request Dump Week 5

Thought I'd post on prayer requests and create a respectable receptacle (ha ha ha, couldn't resist) for us to post our prayer requests for the week. I guess you can either comment to this post, so they are all in one place, or do your own post. Whatever you fancy ...

Also, Tiff, thanks for the thought-provoking questions. I too feel like I need to summarize all the stuff we've been discussing.

My prayer request: that I will be aware of the things God is trying to teach me/tweak in me through this rock-star-awesome study. That my heart will be softened and ready for it and that I will look at each day (or hour, or minute) as a new opportunity to radiate Him. Even if I didn't radiate Him in the last minute.

Love you Noggies.

LOVE YOU GUYS

Just wanted to have a shout out of love (and mental hugging! ;))
I am so thankful for each of you and the candid reality we share...an "excellent forum for discussion" is how I like to describe our study nights to some of my gals at work that I talk to about the book, etc...

So I just wanted to say thank you to each of you for being yourself and for keeping it real and for warming my heart each time we are together! It is a pleasure!

So to end this little post a wise thought from Flip (my daily calendar)....
There is hope for us because God has promised never to leave us or to forsake us. There is hope because we are not alone--we have each other!

We do have God and we have each other...

Have a FANTABULOUS day! Lots of mental hugging coming all of your ways today! ;)
Bri

i'm lovin' it

Yeah, I do love me some Micky D's, but that's not what I'm talking about here. As I was thinking of our group earlier today, especially after Rochelle asked if anyone else was pumped about things, I remembered that Beth Moore shared that God has blessed her with a real, deep love for the women she serves, even though she meets very few of them face to face. She can bump into some woman she's never met before in a Starbucks and, after sharing their God-stories, leave them with a hug and an "I love you" and truly mean it. And that's the way I feel about you guys! I am already sad that this will study will end and we're only halfway through. I'm lovin' it... all of it. The study, the sharing, the food, the e-mails, the blog, the spiritual tweaking, and each of you.

Now, I must add the disclaimer that I am not a "hugger" by nature, so if I do run into you in Starbucks (or Wal-mart, which is more likely for me!) and I don't hug you, it's nothing personal. You are NOT the one person in the group that I don't care about enough to hug. I am probably just hugging you mentally. (I know. It's something I need to work on.)

Many of you will be flipping the next page on your flip calendars soon and therefore have some new "morsels" for us to mentally chew on. And I'm sure this week's lessons will hold much thought-provoking material, as well. But in the meantime, here are a few of the main growth questions I have swimming about in my mind from past conversations, lessons, or posts that may keep your wheels turning, too:

What "envelopes" do I fail to let go of and await the reply? Am I praying with faith and expectancy?

Who (or what role, activity, etc.) am I allowing to be my god by asking them/it to tell me who I am--to define me?

Where in my life am I double-minded and unstable--claiming God is my God while serving false gods?

What (or whom) am I convinced would make me happy if I could obtain it?

Where am I settling, out of desperation and lack of faith, for "crumbs" when the Lord has fullness to offer?

What am I filling my internal vacuum with other than God--the Ultimate Thing?

Maybe none of those resonate with you, because like Kelly said, the Word will speak to each of us individually. But I trust that God is stirring up something good in each of us through this study and fellowship.

I, too, love Brianne's honest prayer: may I always allow the tweaking... So where is God tweaking you most right now?

Neurological Highways

So I've debated since Sunday morning about sharing this and trying to explain it in writing and avoid pages and pages of words trying.

So here's my best shot. We've been talking about our thought life and how important it is to have it God centered. It was also brought up in an earlier post (sorry, don't remember which one with all that i read just now!) about our thoughts not ever being neutral but either "pro-God" or "against God."

Our study group Sunday morning was talking about how our brains create little "highways" with our thoughts and the more that same "highway" is traveled, the easier that path is to follow. "Yes", you might be saying "of course...kind of the power of positive thinking concept." For some reason though, it struck me at how important it is for me to fill my head with truth as often as possible so my brain creates paths of truth rather than paths of lies like satan is hoping. And the more I practice it, the easier it will be. That's encouraging to me! It also reaffirms the importance of memorizing scripture (gulp). That's not my strong suit...and I've been telling myself that for years. That path in my head is deep and very easy to follow ...much to Satan's liking. (oh drat!).

One more interesting piece to this is I watched a TV news show a while back about people with a single recurring nightmare. Psychiatrists' remedy for them to fix the problem is to have them replay the dream over and over in their head with a different ending during the daytime. Eventually at night, their brain will follow their newly rehearsed dream instead of the old one. So even while I'm sleeping, I feel vulnerable to satan's attacks. (profound..I know)

So I'm feeling a bit discouraged about this now wondering if my heart is really the issue when it comes to memorizing scripture. Sure, it would be great to know scripture, but have I really wanted to put in the time and effort? It shouldn't be hard, right? Lies, lies, lies!

Looking forward to this evening. And next week we need to spread these out a bit! I've been anxiously awaiting posts and didn't see any for several days. I was like a kid waiting for a letter at the mailbox....looking disappointed every time I opened (the blog) and found no new comments!

Happy afternoon, nogarina's!
Nancy

Food Provision Schedule

I would really like to take time to write a comment on Rochelle's post, but it just had way too much good stuff in it for me to take time for that right now. I really need to read it a few more times to take it all in. You are likely more than satisfied with the volume of text I've placed on this blog already, anyway! I have not done very well at limiting my internet time once again this week--having our own blog hasn't helped me in that area (but I love it anyway!) Any suggestions you have for keeping myself accountable here would be welcomed! It probably just boils down to self-discipline or turning off the computer, so you may be able to do little more than pray for growth in that area for me!Anyway...

I thought I would post the official "Food Provision Schedule" here so it's easily accessible to all without digging through past e-mails. Notice, we have dubbed it "food provision" so there is no pressure to actually prepare the food yourself! Feel free to trade or do whatever you need to make the schedule work well for you:

July 29 (tonight) – Sheila and Teresa
Aug. 5 – Nancy and Tiff
Aug. 12 – Beth and Stacey
Aug. 19 – Brianne and Rochelle
Aug. 26 – Amy and Nancy (or we can do a special celebration for the final week)

Can't wait to see all of you tonight! (Are we having a night of "perfect attendance" tonight?! I hope so!)

More Flip Calendar Wisdom

So, Brianne and I must be related ... I too felt compelled to share as I caught up on a week's worth of flippage from the calendar that sits on my desk. It is based on John Ortberg's book, God Is Closer Than You Think.

Each thought we have carries with it a little spiritual power, a tug toward or away from God. No thought is purely neutral. Every thought is either enabling and strengthening you to be able to cope with reality to live a kingdom kind of life, or robbing you of that life.

Every thought is - at least to a small extent - God-breathed or God-avoidant; leading to death or leading to life.

The kind of thoughts that come from God are those in line with the fruit of the Spirit; they move us toward love and joy and peace and patience. And we will learn that there are other thoughts that are not likely to be God speaking. For instance, nowhere in the Bible does it say, "And then God worried." So I can be quite confident that thoughts that move me toward a paralyzed anxiety are not from God.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

God is gracious to communicate to us even at the point of our immaturity in a way that we can understand. John Calvin has a beautiful metaphor for this: "For who is so devoid of intellect as not to understand that God, in so speaking, lisps with us as nurses are wont to do with little children?... In doing so, he must, of course, stoop far below his proper height. God stoops. God lisps."

Our job is to be ruthless about saying yes when we believe God is speaking to us. Every time we do, we will get a little more sensitive to hearing him the next time. Our mind becomes a little more receptive, a little more tuned in to God's channel. On the other hand, when we say "no, ..." we make ourselves a little less likely to hear him in the future. (YIKES!)

The natural tendency of my mind apart from God is toward death, not life (SO TRUE) ... When people are alone, undistracted by noise or activity, their minds naturally drift toward an awareness of discontentment, a sense of inadequacy, anxiety about the future, and a chronic sense of self-preoccupation ... This is why people generally flee from solitude ... But God never desires that our minds be filled with despair or tormented by unsatisfied longings. God's desire is for us to have a mind permeated by life-giving thoughts.

Colossians 3:1-3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Wow. Kind of overwhelming when I think about how private and comforting my thoughts are. That is my place to really express how I feel ... most of the time ... sometimes I don't want to face some of my fears, or the truth about the lies I've been believing, or the bitterness or hurt I've been holding on to ... but it is also the place where I can really let it all hang out, so to speak. Think about things that I wouldn't verbalize or share. But John O is saying that the seemingly insignifcant thoughts will either be for God or against God. Powerful.

I skipped (or flipped) ahead to the tomorrow and this is what I read, which gave me some relief (because I was going to pull on my boxing gloves and work my thought-life out all by myself again ...)

Paul wrote to the church at Rome for people to "be transformed by the renewing of your minds" (Romans 12:2). He doesn't say "transform yourselves by renewing your minds." Only God can change a mind. This explains why Paul wrote to Timothy that God has "not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). When God is present in a mind, it begins to flow with a new kind of thought.

I keep flipping ahead to see exactly how to make sure God is present in my mind, b/c I need a how-to book on these things. God's Presence for Dummies, or something. I couldn't find an equation or a step-by-step list, so I'm just praying that He is more present in my mind than He was 15 minutes ago.


See you Tuesday night!

The god of people-pleasing

So, wouldn't you know it, several articles in my latest Today's Christian Woman magazine connect to discussions we've had together, one addressing my god in particular: the approval of others. I thought I would share a few quotes from the article that put things in perspective for me, which hopefully means another step on the journey toward freedom. After all, "it is for freedom that Christ has set us free" (Gal. 5). I completely echo Brianne's desire to have the ability to stay in it and permanently know this truth in my heart and mind! I still really like the brain removal option...but probably not a good idea considering how dingy and forgetful I can be with my brain fully connected and intact!

Here are the quotes from author Kim Gaines Eckert:
When we aren't honest with others about who we really are, and instead present an image of who we think we should be in order to gain their acceptance, we're people pleasing.

When you look to others for affirmation, you ask them to reflect your feelings and thoughts back to you with perfect accuracy and insight. When my husband is unable to do so, I get frustrated. Your husband, children and friends may love you as best they can, affirm your strengths, and help you see how God designed you. But when you ask someone to tell you who you are, you're really asking that person to be your god. And human beings are destined to disappoint you. God alone is your true "mirror." Only he can fully, perfectly know and love you (I Cor. 13:12).

In seeking Christ's favor, you can stop trying to prove to others you're a good wife, mother or church member.... You are worthy. And that worth lies not in what you do for others, but in the work Christ has already done for--and in--you. When you rest in his unfailing love, you can serve others in true freedom.

The article also gave six questions to ask yourself to help assess your struggle with people pleasing:
1) Do you feel comfortable expressing your opinions to others?
2) Can you say "no" to a request you don't have time to fulfill?
3) Do you say you agree with others' ideas only when you truly do?
4) Are you willing to send back a restaurant dish you don't like?
5) Can you tell a close friend or family member that she has hurt you?
6) Are you comfortable making independent choices?

While my answers to these questions still reveal much need for progress, I also know Christ is doing a work in me because I'm further on the way than I was a year ago. That is hope giving to me. Instant and permanent results would be better, but, you know, I'll take what I can get! :)

In the auditorium service yesterday, Andrew talked about having the ability to stand and trust that God is at work, even when the evidence around us seems to say otherwise. That is a word I need to hear often. I know there are so many good resources and spiritual things to do, but if that interests you, you can listen to the message online at www.trcpella.com. It may not be there yet, but it will be in the next day or two.

Praying that we'll look to our gods less and our Great GOD more today than yesterday!
Beth

Christ Like Mind Set

So my calendar for the day has really struck a cord...so much so that I had to post it.

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.-Romans 12:10

Godly relationships are those in which there is a willingness to say, "I don't have to have things my way all the time. I'm willing to submit my desires to your desires, my preferences to your preferences." Certainly we are never called to compromise our values, our faith in Christ Jesus....We are, however, to mature to the point that we are more concerned about what happens to another person than we are concerned about what happens to us.

How contrary to the way the media and the world appears to work. This is my desire above all else...I think this puts us into the mindset of how Christ was when he was on earth. What a beautiful mindset to have...if only I could yank my brain out, tweak it, and forever think like this! But that is what Christ is for and His Holy Spirit, right?...to continually tweak me until I am a reflection of Christ...may I always allow the tweaking...

Have a lovely day NOGarians!
Bri

It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me--Galations 2:20

Welcome, Pella NOGGERS!

Well, the emails started going this morning with songs and links and encouragement, and that's when I decided--we must have a blog! We all love email, but I thought this would be a cool place to share our thoughts and questions and have some conversation around them between our Tuesday meetings. I like to think I'm computer savvy, but I'm honestly not exactly sure how this works. Since I "own" the blog, I guess that makes me responsible for the posts, and then you can add comments to those posts. (Some of you are likely going, "Yeah, duh, Beth." But maybe some others are saying, "Oh! Thanks for telling me how it works!" Or maybe I'm wrong about how it works, in which case I'm blushing.)

So, to jump right in...what did people think of those quotes that Rochelle sent from Sacred Parenting? Wow! I read them and thought, "Wow! That is truth!" But then I also thought, "Oh shoot! That is hard." But something has struck me a couple times today, once in those Gary Thomas quotes and once in a comment made by someone else. It's the fact that there is nothing else in life worth more than seeking to become like Jesus. One of you said to me earlier today that you keep "chugging because I never want to stop trying for fear of where I would end up." I totally get that. What becomes of me if I stop seeking Jesus? What becomes of my marriage or my children? There is a lot at stake. While on the one hand that is scary, on the other it is so purpose giving, isn't it? The journey is hard, but when I look at it like that, I wouldn't dream of giving up. It's those stinking idols that get in the way.

If you have thoughts about the Sacred Parenting quotes or anything else in this post, jump right in! And while I'm jabbering, I just want you to know how much I'm enjoying all of you. I've been so blessed by the way our group has been willing to be so open in sharing our struggles and our idols even without knowing each other very well. It has been really rich for me, and I hope the same is true for everyone. I told Tiff today that I'm just eating this up because I feel like I've been away from the Word for so long and am rediscovering the life it truly gives! Of course, there's that whole conviction thing...but like I said, is there anything else that's worth chasing? Nope.

Brianne shared a verse with me in an email today that really struck me. It's not morning anymore, but it was actually the end of the verse that really resonated with me. "In the morning, oh Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation" (Psalm 5:3). I wonder if I'm really expecting anything and if that might be why I often don't feel like I'm hearing or receiving anything.

Okay, so you'll find that I can get a little "windy" once I start typing, so I really am closing this now. I'd love to hear your comments. And I'll try to do at least a couple more posts before our next meeting.

Waiting in expectation...